When I started running, I followed the training schedule meticulously. I spent hours at the gym, researched how to perfect my technique, and the types of foods I should eat. Granted, I made a lot of mistakes along the way.
Every race, I tell myself
I. Will. Not. Finish. Last.
Then, on May 5th, I participated in the Voices Against Brain Cancer 5k, an issue that hits particularly close to home. It was an intimate setting, with just over 1,000 people (a far cry from my 40,000+ events). It began to register how many people were walking with empty wheelchairs- in case their loved ones got tired. Survivors made their way through the gravel course, one step at a time, using walkers and canes for support. While I have seen elite runners exceed expectations, it was the smallest of steps that moved me. Suddenly, being “last” spoke far more upon their character than being the fastest. I might not have broken a PR that day, but I gained much, much more.
This previous weekend I ran the Soldier Field 10 Miler.
I was untrained and, let’s face it, anxious about my performance.
As I was being lapped, my fear of being last resurfaced.
How come they are all going faster? Is there something wrong with me?
This is what I love about running-
The only person you are truly challenging is yourself. Let’s face it, it’s a pretty lonely sport. You are alone with your thoughts for hours. It’s time to stop comparing yourself to other runners.
Besides, who are we to judge anyway?
I still managed to finish at 1:48:25.
I never stopped pushing myself and, thanks to negative splits, can’t feel bad about being lapped in the beginning. Nonetheless, I will always carry my new found lesson. There is nothing wrong with being last. As long as you are doing the best you can do, you are already a winner.